A Step Back!

Well, the past 3 weeks seemed to finally catch up with me. I was living pretty sleep deprived since I left for Ragnar and DTC. I figured once I returned home I'd be able to catch right up with sleep. That DID NOT happen. Having a bit of OCD with housework and working nights does not help. I am happy to announce though, that other than a minor catastrophe with the dishwasher that ruined our new floor, the boys kept the house tidy and miraculously figured out how to do wash. (Although they seemed to have forgotten already!) Anyway life continued to race on, work, friends, workouts, housework blah, blah, blah. Then my son came to me the other day and said "Mom, you still haven't seen my mountain bike track I'm building." Truth is, him and his friends have been building it since before I left and not once had I gone back to look at it.(It's only behind the house) My priorities once again out of balance. I was clearly feeling exhausted and I'd partially neglected my mom role. So I'm proud to say, as a friend reminded me that life is not about luck, it's about choice, I skipped 3 days of workouts, slept 20 hours in a row and made it out to the back yard!

Back to the ER

Well I'm headed back to the ER tonight to do my first shift down there in over 1 Year. I have many mixed feelings about that place, and I'm feeling a bit anxious to return there. Many of my great friends have left and work elsewhere, its a whole new place, and sometimes I long for the old days back. (Although, it was my New Year's resolution to work on not wasting time wishing for moments back that are far gone, I'm obviously still working on that.) I worked down in the ED from the age of 25 to 35, and I became a different person. I suppose I would have changed no matter where I worked you seem to really find out who you are during those years, and working ER only helped to move that process along. It gave me a greater appreciation of life, it turned a naive girl into a wiser woman, it taught me to not be so judgemental that we all make mistakes and everyone has their story, it gave me the ability to laugh at myself and not take life so serious. Most of all it made me treasure now, because that is seriously all we ever have, not a minute ago and not a minute from now, just NOW. Take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, no matter how big or small the challenge,because you only get one life,one now. Be happy for every moment you are here. I think sometimes we all have to remember that.
So if the ER could make a person believe all that then why on earth would I leave? Well, ER did not come without sacrifice, it burned me out. I remember thinking I'd work down there forever, I found my niche. It was the perfect place for a person that thrives on being pulled in 10 directions, but that came with a cost. I found that I brought that same pace to my every day life and one day I just wanted to slow down, I didn't want to race through life anymore, UNLESS it was a triathlon. I no longer wanted to deal with tragedy on a daily basis. Most of all I could no longer deal with suicides, nasty drunks and drug addicts. It was like constantly pouring salt in a open wound, and I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I left a little over a year after my brother's death, I just couldn't handle it anymore. Sometimes I feel ashamed like I should've been able be stronger, but I can now go days without feeling sorry for myself , in the ER it constantly brought my families painful past back to me. So it was the best decision I made, to leave when I did. So tonight, I will enter that ER with caution and not get caught up racing through life again. Wish me luck :)

Well, I've been meaning to blog all week since I returned home from Arizona, but life just seems to get in the way. What can I say except it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. David said it best, like a fraternity. Now I wouldn't know what that feels like because I attended a community college, but if I could imagine, this would be it. Hanging around other type 1's is just, so waaaay cool. Who would've thought. All my life, I tried to hide my diabetes, never wanting to "be different." I still think it's cool when someone says to me, "I didn't know you were a diabetic." As one of my nursing supervisors said last night. I guess they are my own issues to deal with. One of many!!! I learned more than I could have imagined in just a weeks time, and I want to thank all of my new Triabetic friends out there for that, and of course Dr.Matt.
Well I'm off to get ready for work and I can't stop but think that 1 week ago I was descending from MT Lemon! AAAHHH memories!!!

Ridiculous behavior from a bright red Northeast tomato!

I decided to tell you one quick story, Today I decide that I don't want to be the only ghost white person in Arizona, so I'm gonna go tanning! Haven't done that since my late twenties, too many wrinkles, skin cancer risks, but captain dumb dumb decides to go anyway, what could 10 minutes in a tanning bed do?? So if anyone out there is watching the Ragnar relay and you see a bright, bright, red tomato go by, that will be me! Brilliant move on my part, my stomach is glowing red and I need to put a new infusion site in. I think I might actually try my big ole' Butt for the very first time, the thought of jabbing that needle in my stomach is terrifying me!! I'm sure I'll have much more dumb behavior in the next 10 days so stay tuned....:)
I have now added sunblock to my luggage!

Thanks Fred and Aaron!

Well I guess it's going to be another night without sleeping, I'm pretty used to it because of working nights for so long. You see, I have a 4am pickup to Philly airport and it's 2am already, why bother sleeping now, it will only make me feel worse. Might as well get one last blog in before I go!
I'm really excited, anxious, and guilty about my upcoming adventure.. a 10 day trip to Arizona to do Ragnar Relay with a bunch of other type 1's, and then off to Diabetic Training Camp, where it's a chance of a lifetime to learn from Dr.Matt and all my other Triabetic teammates, who seem to have this thing figured out so much better than me. Then off to Trifest sponsored by Trisports, one of our very cool Triabetes sponsors! So of course I'm excited about all of that. Then comes the nervous part, I was up 29 hours from Monday afternoon until Tuesday night. Now this morning by the time I get on the plane, I'll have been up 26 hours, then Friday will be Ragnar which I didn't plan to sleep at all, but I think I might have just sabotaged my plan. If only I didn't wait to pack until tonight!!! Thank gosh for caffeine!
Now the guilty part, do you know any mom who doesn't have guilt?? I'll be leaving my son and husband for 10 days, by far the longest I've ever gone without being with them, I feel pretty guilty over this, but they are both so supportive and always encourage me to be my own person, not just a wife and mom. I mean how lucky can I get? I have friends who will ask, Is your husband really OK with you going on all these triathlon trips? Yup, he really is, and without him I couldn't do it! My son is 15, but I know he will secretly miss me terribly, as I will him. So thanks boys, for eating canned soup and frozen meals for the next week, while I'm hanging with my diabetic people!!!

Spring Fever!

So today it was 63 degrees out! For the second time this week I was able to get a 30 mile ride in followed by a 5 mile run. My friend and I were so happy to be able to be doing a brick workout that didn't include the spin bike and dreadmill! Well since it's only been the second time on my bike since..well awhile..I thought I just was having a bad bike day, 5 miles into it I had no power. Half hour before the ride sugar was 117 so I had a banana and turned my basal to .15units/hr--about 1/2 hour into it sugar was 44-ate about 50 gms carbs 20 minutes later sugar is 59 ate another 25 gms carbs and finished with a sugar of 120. Second half of bike felt much stronger, it's amazing how your blood sugar affects everything. Before run I eat 2 handfuls (big handfuls) of chocolate chips, turn basal back to 0.7u finishing sugar 326! What did I learn, chocolate chips...not such a good idea!
16 days till I leave for Ragnar Relay and DTC camp, I feel like a kid counting down for Christmas!

I guess I've been fortunate, other than a mountain bike wrist fracture, I've never had to deal with sports injuries...until now that is. I've watched my training partner and bff(that's her and I in the picture) deal with hip flexor, knee and achilles problems, followed by hours of physical therapy and I HAD been spared of these. Until last Sunday, we ran 13 miles on Saturday, 9 miles on Sunday with no problems, then Sunday afternoon... Wham it hit me I could barely walk, the outside of my knee felt like someone stabbed it with a knife, or pulled a Nancy Kerrigan on it! I did the old rice (rest, ice, compression, elevation..well maybe not the ice) on it and hoped for the best. Yup, and then what does captain dumb dumb do on Monday...I realize that Ragnar Relay will run right into Diabetic Training Camp so I call and tell them to count me in. Maybe it was my personal way of fighting back against my aging body, maybe it was my natural self destructive behavior, or maybe it was that I just couldn't pass up such a fun adventure. Camping, running through the night, hanging out with other type 1's, nope, definitely couldn't pass this up.
Lately when I look in the mirror I realize I'm getting older, wrinkles, sun spots, grey hair, facial hair, knee pain, it's all there right in front of me! The problem is my mind still feels 19, but once again, the mirror and my aches and pains, unfortunately tell the truth. I did start to lift weights 3 weeks ago after a 15 year hiatus in order to prevent injury, guess I was a little too late. Well, I still believe age is just a number! And hey, I've earned everyone of those wrinkles out riding and running for hours. I have a friend who has a botox addiction, it's a good thing I have a triathlon addiction because I can't afford both!
So anyway, I took it easy through the week with running and ventured back into the trails on Thursday, now with a knee brace on. So far so good, it's still a bit sore and doesn't feel quite right, but I'm back on the glucosamine and a stretching routine and will hope for the best. Today a bunch of us did a run called the fat ass run, very appropriate name these days, they must have known I was coming when they thought up the name. When it started it was 5 degrees outside and WARMED up to 15, LOL. My knee made it the 16.5 miles("thank you knee"-maybe if I thank it , it will leave me alone) and only feels a little sore, my accucheck on the other hand was acting a bit wacky in the cold, maybe it takes after it's owner!