No fear!

For many years, I would turn my pump off when I ran, with the fear of going low. I thought that was the way to do it. Until November, when I first met my teammates. So, since then I've been learning. I've been doing really good with my sugars, testing and leaving my pump on during training since I got back from DTC. Until today, I don't know how it happened, I woke up with a bg of 80, didn't have anything significant for breakfast(or so I thought), but started sipping on some energy drink and maybe nibbling on crackers topped off with peanut butter. Two hours go by, I forget to bolus and wham mo, 510!!! OMG, I have not had a sugar like that in a really long time, I was horrified. So I use my bolus wizard(sorry Peter, I'm a bolus wizard lover now)and it tells me to take 6 units. I do. One hour later 450, another 4 units. Half hour later dumb, dumb decides it is time to go running, bgm 364.
The training plan only called for a 75 minute run, so I figure I'll be safe, even with so much insulin on board. Every 25 minutes I was to increase my heart rate by about 10 bpm, so that would mean I'd be increasing my pace. Easy,breezy until at 25 minutes I check my sugar, 111, Sh-t,that dropped quick. I take 2 gels, then another 25 minutes, feeling kind of weird bgm 43, 2 more gels finish the run feeling OK. Ending sugar 57. Cost of run, 4 bucks! So I guess I'm still learning, but until today, I've been doing awesome. Here is what I was proud of the most today, I never shut my pump off. It was only at 30% basal, but I realized that shutting it off would not make a difference for such a short run, and that it might set me up for a "high' later. Until camp, and even at Ragnar I was still shutting it off, but I feel like I've come a long way! Hooray!

Water bottle saleman of the year!

So for those of you who don't know, the Triabetes Team is selling water bottles. I was so overly motivated at camp, that Myself and a few other teammates decided to sell 2 boxes(100) instead of opting for one(50). Well I had all this great ambition, but what I have found out is that I'm no salesman. I like to give and hate asking anything from anybody, even if it is for a good cause. So how many water bottles have I sold...I'm not even going to answer that one. I have given plenty of them to friends and family to sell for me, I guess the easy way out. But hey, I'm training for Ironman! Now here is the real surprise in the story, my Fred, who is a diesel mechanic, not a salesman or business person, sold 40!!! Who sells 40 water bottles, being a mechanic! I'm not surprised actually, he is good at whatever he puts his mind to, I'm the screw up in our family, and he's the wise, responsible one! To make me feel more like a loser, his boss told him to bring more into the shop and he'd sell them. Go Caterpillar!!!!

A Step Back!

Well, the past 3 weeks seemed to finally catch up with me. I was living pretty sleep deprived since I left for Ragnar and DTC. I figured once I returned home I'd be able to catch right up with sleep. That DID NOT happen. Having a bit of OCD with housework and working nights does not help. I am happy to announce though, that other than a minor catastrophe with the dishwasher that ruined our new floor, the boys kept the house tidy and miraculously figured out how to do wash. (Although they seemed to have forgotten already!) Anyway life continued to race on, work, friends, workouts, housework blah, blah, blah. Then my son came to me the other day and said "Mom, you still haven't seen my mountain bike track I'm building." Truth is, him and his friends have been building it since before I left and not once had I gone back to look at it.(It's only behind the house) My priorities once again out of balance. I was clearly feeling exhausted and I'd partially neglected my mom role. So I'm proud to say, as a friend reminded me that life is not about luck, it's about choice, I skipped 3 days of workouts, slept 20 hours in a row and made it out to the back yard!

Back to the ER

Well I'm headed back to the ER tonight to do my first shift down there in over 1 Year. I have many mixed feelings about that place, and I'm feeling a bit anxious to return there. Many of my great friends have left and work elsewhere, its a whole new place, and sometimes I long for the old days back. (Although, it was my New Year's resolution to work on not wasting time wishing for moments back that are far gone, I'm obviously still working on that.) I worked down in the ED from the age of 25 to 35, and I became a different person. I suppose I would have changed no matter where I worked you seem to really find out who you are during those years, and working ER only helped to move that process along. It gave me a greater appreciation of life, it turned a naive girl into a wiser woman, it taught me to not be so judgemental that we all make mistakes and everyone has their story, it gave me the ability to laugh at myself and not take life so serious. Most of all it made me treasure now, because that is seriously all we ever have, not a minute ago and not a minute from now, just NOW. Take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, no matter how big or small the challenge,because you only get one life,one now. Be happy for every moment you are here. I think sometimes we all have to remember that.
So if the ER could make a person believe all that then why on earth would I leave? Well, ER did not come without sacrifice, it burned me out. I remember thinking I'd work down there forever, I found my niche. It was the perfect place for a person that thrives on being pulled in 10 directions, but that came with a cost. I found that I brought that same pace to my every day life and one day I just wanted to slow down, I didn't want to race through life anymore, UNLESS it was a triathlon. I no longer wanted to deal with tragedy on a daily basis. Most of all I could no longer deal with suicides, nasty drunks and drug addicts. It was like constantly pouring salt in a open wound, and I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I left a little over a year after my brother's death, I just couldn't handle it anymore. Sometimes I feel ashamed like I should've been able be stronger, but I can now go days without feeling sorry for myself , in the ER it constantly brought my families painful past back to me. So it was the best decision I made, to leave when I did. So tonight, I will enter that ER with caution and not get caught up racing through life again. Wish me luck :)

Well, I've been meaning to blog all week since I returned home from Arizona, but life just seems to get in the way. What can I say except it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. David said it best, like a fraternity. Now I wouldn't know what that feels like because I attended a community college, but if I could imagine, this would be it. Hanging around other type 1's is just, so waaaay cool. Who would've thought. All my life, I tried to hide my diabetes, never wanting to "be different." I still think it's cool when someone says to me, "I didn't know you were a diabetic." As one of my nursing supervisors said last night. I guess they are my own issues to deal with. One of many!!! I learned more than I could have imagined in just a weeks time, and I want to thank all of my new Triabetic friends out there for that, and of course Dr.Matt.
Well I'm off to get ready for work and I can't stop but think that 1 week ago I was descending from MT Lemon! AAAHHH memories!!!