Ridiculous behavior from a bright red Northeast tomato!

I decided to tell you one quick story, Today I decide that I don't want to be the only ghost white person in Arizona, so I'm gonna go tanning! Haven't done that since my late twenties, too many wrinkles, skin cancer risks, but captain dumb dumb decides to go anyway, what could 10 minutes in a tanning bed do?? So if anyone out there is watching the Ragnar relay and you see a bright, bright, red tomato go by, that will be me! Brilliant move on my part, my stomach is glowing red and I need to put a new infusion site in. I think I might actually try my big ole' Butt for the very first time, the thought of jabbing that needle in my stomach is terrifying me!! I'm sure I'll have much more dumb behavior in the next 10 days so stay tuned....:)
I have now added sunblock to my luggage!

Thanks Fred and Aaron!

Well I guess it's going to be another night without sleeping, I'm pretty used to it because of working nights for so long. You see, I have a 4am pickup to Philly airport and it's 2am already, why bother sleeping now, it will only make me feel worse. Might as well get one last blog in before I go!
I'm really excited, anxious, and guilty about my upcoming adventure.. a 10 day trip to Arizona to do Ragnar Relay with a bunch of other type 1's, and then off to Diabetic Training Camp, where it's a chance of a lifetime to learn from Dr.Matt and all my other Triabetic teammates, who seem to have this thing figured out so much better than me. Then off to Trifest sponsored by Trisports, one of our very cool Triabetes sponsors! So of course I'm excited about all of that. Then comes the nervous part, I was up 29 hours from Monday afternoon until Tuesday night. Now this morning by the time I get on the plane, I'll have been up 26 hours, then Friday will be Ragnar which I didn't plan to sleep at all, but I think I might have just sabotaged my plan. If only I didn't wait to pack until tonight!!! Thank gosh for caffeine!
Now the guilty part, do you know any mom who doesn't have guilt?? I'll be leaving my son and husband for 10 days, by far the longest I've ever gone without being with them, I feel pretty guilty over this, but they are both so supportive and always encourage me to be my own person, not just a wife and mom. I mean how lucky can I get? I have friends who will ask, Is your husband really OK with you going on all these triathlon trips? Yup, he really is, and without him I couldn't do it! My son is 15, but I know he will secretly miss me terribly, as I will him. So thanks boys, for eating canned soup and frozen meals for the next week, while I'm hanging with my diabetic people!!!

Spring Fever!

So today it was 63 degrees out! For the second time this week I was able to get a 30 mile ride in followed by a 5 mile run. My friend and I were so happy to be able to be doing a brick workout that didn't include the spin bike and dreadmill! Well since it's only been the second time on my bike since..well awhile..I thought I just was having a bad bike day, 5 miles into it I had no power. Half hour before the ride sugar was 117 so I had a banana and turned my basal to .15units/hr--about 1/2 hour into it sugar was 44-ate about 50 gms carbs 20 minutes later sugar is 59 ate another 25 gms carbs and finished with a sugar of 120. Second half of bike felt much stronger, it's amazing how your blood sugar affects everything. Before run I eat 2 handfuls (big handfuls) of chocolate chips, turn basal back to 0.7u finishing sugar 326! What did I learn, chocolate chips...not such a good idea!
16 days till I leave for Ragnar Relay and DTC camp, I feel like a kid counting down for Christmas!

I guess I've been fortunate, other than a mountain bike wrist fracture, I've never had to deal with sports injuries...until now that is. I've watched my training partner and bff(that's her and I in the picture) deal with hip flexor, knee and achilles problems, followed by hours of physical therapy and I HAD been spared of these. Until last Sunday, we ran 13 miles on Saturday, 9 miles on Sunday with no problems, then Sunday afternoon... Wham it hit me I could barely walk, the outside of my knee felt like someone stabbed it with a knife, or pulled a Nancy Kerrigan on it! I did the old rice (rest, ice, compression, elevation..well maybe not the ice) on it and hoped for the best. Yup, and then what does captain dumb dumb do on Monday...I realize that Ragnar Relay will run right into Diabetic Training Camp so I call and tell them to count me in. Maybe it was my personal way of fighting back against my aging body, maybe it was my natural self destructive behavior, or maybe it was that I just couldn't pass up such a fun adventure. Camping, running through the night, hanging out with other type 1's, nope, definitely couldn't pass this up.
Lately when I look in the mirror I realize I'm getting older, wrinkles, sun spots, grey hair, facial hair, knee pain, it's all there right in front of me! The problem is my mind still feels 19, but once again, the mirror and my aches and pains, unfortunately tell the truth. I did start to lift weights 3 weeks ago after a 15 year hiatus in order to prevent injury, guess I was a little too late. Well, I still believe age is just a number! And hey, I've earned everyone of those wrinkles out riding and running for hours. I have a friend who has a botox addiction, it's a good thing I have a triathlon addiction because I can't afford both!
So anyway, I took it easy through the week with running and ventured back into the trails on Thursday, now with a knee brace on. So far so good, it's still a bit sore and doesn't feel quite right, but I'm back on the glucosamine and a stretching routine and will hope for the best. Today a bunch of us did a run called the fat ass run, very appropriate name these days, they must have known I was coming when they thought up the name. When it started it was 5 degrees outside and WARMED up to 15, LOL. My knee made it the 16.5 miles("thank you knee"-maybe if I thank it , it will leave me alone) and only feels a little sore, my accucheck on the other hand was acting a bit wacky in the cold, maybe it takes after it's owner!

Just Be

As I was driving to the pool at 6am this morning I passed by the bagel shop where we often gather before a long bike ride during the summer months. For a moment, I wished I was back in one of those June mornings, hanging around with good friends getting ready to ride long on a hot summer day, instead of driving to the pool on a freezing cold morning! I find myself doing that alot, wishing for moments back that are far gone. Take today for example, I'm wishing it was the first of my 6 days off of work, instead of the first of my next 4 on. I guess I'm lucky that there are so many great moments in my life that I'd like to go back to, but I don't want to waste anymore energy living in the past. So today my New Year's resolution was born, to live more in the moment be grateful for now, great family, great friends, great health. Happy New Year!

Running Low!

Well, I did the 5k with my friend 2 weeks ago and we crossed together, just as I promised her. It was quite an amazing experience to be with someone at their first race ever. Everything was so new and exciting to her and when she crossed the finish line, she cried. I guess it was her journey there that created those tears, but they were so heartfelt, and it reminded me the power of exercise.

Everyday I'm out there I feel lucky. I think about all the patients and people I have come across that only wish they could do half of what we do. That's where I got my saying, We Get To Do This, my friends laugh, but when were out there suffering, I'm always screaming that! So even last week when my blood sugar went to a all time low of 24 while I was running, I just reset my game plan and shortened my run. Yes, that is right, 24---I knew I didn't feel right so I said to my 2 friends about 3 miles in, I need to check my sugar...23...recheck...24---oh shit, 8 miler not happening today-I ate my 3 packs of sharkies approx 100gms of carbs, and carried on till the 5 mile mark where I called it a day, with a ending sugar of 60. My two babysitters stayed with me, that is how I felt, I could see they were concerned but I didn't want to ruin their run, I told them to continue on, but my BFF actually followed me home. I truly felt like I was 8 years old and had a babysitter, but I secretly thought it was cool that I was still running with a sugar of 24! Anyhow, what prompted this horrible sugar, well more of my ridiculous behavior. I started with a sugar of about 360, bolused 4 units and turned my basal off, well I am learning all too quickly that I really can't bolus anything more than about 1.5 units before a run. (Thanks Anne) Gee, you would think I was new at this shit, I mean, I've been diabetic since age 14, have finished 15 marathons, 3 ironmans, 2 50k's, but the truth is, I kind of lived in denial of my diabetes. I hardly ever checked my sugar and would just always be happy between 200-300, oh... I'm lying maybe it was even higher, I hardly ever checked. How dumb, I know. When people would say to me, "I didn't know you had diabetes.." my usual response was "oh no I don't, I have the pump, it's my portable pancreas" and I would laugh. So this journey toward normal sugars while exercising and living is continuing to be a challenge, but I've never been afraid of challenges it's part of what drives me. Reading my Triabetes teamate blogs has helped too, realizing that we all go through this, but, some really seem to have it figured out much better than I, so I am learning, and aspiring to be more like them. I am also happy to report that my sugar detox is going pretty well, other than a run in with buttercream the other day!!! I've lost 3 pounds and we are almost through these holidays!

Well I'm off to sleep before work tonight, yes working on Christmas Eve 7p-7a, but hey I'm looking on the bright side, time and a half after 11pm! Happy Holidays!

I ran with a old friend yesterday. We've been running together for a bit over a month now. Our lives have been so parallel, but at times we lose contact. We were in the same homeroom together all 4 years of high school, and probably never uttered a hello. Then about 12 years ago I left the oncology(cancer) unit and transferred down to the ED, where she was my preceptor. ED nursing was a bit overwhelming at first, it was an entire new world. She was patient with me and gave me confidence when I lacked it. I was amazed at her brilliance as a nurse, and aspired to be like her. Two years later, when I was ready to enter the cardiac/trauma rooms, there she was , ready to be my preceptor and mentor me once again. Through our years in the ED we formed a bond, many of my true friends, I have made from that ED. Saving and losing lives together brings this sort of trust, I really can't explain it. It was my favorite time as a nurse.

She and I unfortunately also had another thing in common, our brothers. Both addicted to alcohol, in my case, drugs and alcohol. They were both thorns in our mother's sides always causing some kind of pain. Then 3 years ago, my brother took his life on Christmas Day- how sad, I watched people fight for their lives in that ED and he just takes his. OK... SO I'M STILL ANGRY! Here's the sad part, 2 years ago, her brother commits suicide also. A truly unfortunate thing that we both now have in common, but it's there, another bond. I remember a few months after her brother died she asked me how I handle it so well. You see, my dad killed himself 12 years ago. So I'm like the expert at surviving this shit! I told her I run. It is probably no coincidence that I did my first marathon a year or so after my dad died. Endurance sports bring a beautiful pain to your life. Crossing finish lines after suffering, now that is living! I want to be the opposite of my dad and bro-they were weak, quitters in life, I am not!!!

Well guess who starts working out this year, my friend! She started in January and has already lost 50 lbs, so a bit over a month ago, I call her and tell her she must come run the "magical forest" with me. I know, she will understand and appreciate it's peace and beauty. I encourage and push her and hopefully give her the confidence that she gave me so many years ago as a nurse. I can see that she is learning to love running. I know that it is healing from the inside out, AND I almost have her convinced to sign up for a marathon!!! She is up to seven miles now, and she will run her first 5k on Sunday. I vow I will run it with her and leave my ego behind. We will run side by side no matter how long it takes, two survivors!